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Poly Rage

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28th April 2010

leswamp12:31am: Dear TV writers, please don't moralize. Kthnxbye.
So the House MD polyish/swingerish/open marriageish issue wasn't as over the top ignorant and judgmental as I thought it would be, but it was close.

12th January 2010

leswamp11:37pm: Below is just one example of the never ending bullshit parade.
On the topic of otherwise liberal and/or vaguely intelligent people shitting all over polyamory: I'm so tired of that ignorant bullshit.

Squeeze a turd like that out about gays and you're scum but slam poly people and that's just dandy.

So tired of that. Especially from people who don't even know anyone poly. Please stfu. Kthnxbye.

Below is just one example of the never ending bullshit parade.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/monogomy-polyamory.html

24th February 2009

leswamp12:08am: WTF?
Seen somewhere on FB.

"That is so true, darling! Everything is better when you are in love, that is why I cannot be in an open relationship."

Guh?

17th February 2009

leswamp4:04pm: Harrumph.
So I've been watching the L word, (my 1st mistake, I know) and there's this sub plot where an established couple is getting very close to a 3rd person and the other characters warn of impending relationship doom and I'm like, "So what's the big deal? Triad."

It seems common sense to me that's the way it'd go but it probably won't.

:P

Edit** to discourage nitpickers, I know poly isn't for everyone.

I'm just deeply annoyed that the outcome of 3 people all having feelings for each other is presumed bad, assumed to have a bad outcome and poly isn't even recognized as an option or a remote possibility.

10th February 2009

leswamp5:01pm: Hello? Not your fucking science project.
God I am so sick of getting emails from grad students, tv producers and other assorted asshats who want to poke, prod and examine the freakish poly people for whatever stupid project they are doing.

FUCK OFF.

Jeez.

18th June 2008

leswamp5:58pm: My final summary on this topic, typed on something other than my blackberry for a change.
(Final post on this with all thoughts sort of summed up.)

So one of my poly friends has announced that they are off the market because they've found "Miss Right"

(The way they did it was also weird. A firm “I am off the market none of you have any chance with me so don’t ask! This is not subject to negotiation!” My experience of poly people does not include poly folks wandering around with their flys down demanding free and open sex from all other members of the poly community.so..er..huh?)

Now I’m happy for my friend if he’s happy and I don’t have a personal stake in whichever lifestyle he decides work best for him.

What I could do without is all the livejournal comments their post got. All these bigoted twits crowing about how he's finally seen the monogamous light because as one brainless buffoon felt compelled to say, "That poly thing never works out, even a little."

Yes. Right. Thanks. And the divorce rate is what again?

Someone else felt the need to say how happy they were that my friend is finally getting to experience how very very “special” it is to be owned and to own someone else in return. (Because um..the love we share with our partners isn’t special. Not at all. In fact in my case there’s nothing special about making a life with 6 loving partners for nearly a decade, nothing whatsoever. Owning another human being though, that’s the pinnacle of human love. Uhh..ok..thanks for that.)

So I can’t help but wonder, If my friend had identified as gay til now and proclaimed himself straight, would these same people be full of the same sort of triumphant stupidity? Oh wait, of course not. That would be wrong. That would be ridiculous and bigoted. But making the same kind of moronic statements about poly, that’s just fine apparently.

Finally, when I pointed out to one of the commentors that sweeping statements about the viability of poly as an alternative lifestyle are as effective and reasonable as sweeping statements about homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle I was petulantly informed that these are "not the same thing."

Really? Last time I looked bigotry and ignorance were the same thing no matter what the subject matter.
leswamp9:05pm: "but..my bigotry is like..better" and other lame bs.
So when I pointed out to one of the commentors described in my previous post that sweeping statements about the viability of poly as an alternative lifestyle are as effective and reasonable as sweeping statements about homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle I was petulantly informed that these are "not the same thing.". Aren't they?

17th June 2008

leswamp11:27pm: Grr.
So one of my poly friends has announced that they are off the market because they've found "Miss Right" (Cue fanfare) and while I'm happy if they are happy, I could live without all the livejournal comments their post got. All these bigoted twits crowing about how he's finally seen the monogamous light because as one brainless buffoon felt compelled to say, "That poly thing never works out, even a little."

Yes. Right. Thanks. And the divorce rate is what again?

Imbeciles.

If my friend had identified as gay til now and proclaimed himself straight I wonder if his lj would be full of the same sort of triumphant stupidity? Oh wait, of course not. That would be wrong...>:P

6th June 2008

paquerette10:57am: FOR THE LOVE OF BISCUITS do not run around the internets calling yourself poly when you want your husband to agree but he hasn't agreed and you're still "happily married" to him and you're screwing around with other people anyway. YOU ARE NOT POLY. There is a word for what you are, and poly isn't it.
Current Mood: irate

7th April 2008

leswamp11:14am: Hell, I see more of that in monogamy-land.
http://www.metro.co.uk/metrosexual/article.html?in_article_id=116656&in_page_id=8

Pretty decent article on poly. I'm just slightly bugged to see the issue of cheating brought up in relation to poly. I see it a lot. "Humans suck at monogamy so there's poly. Ta Da."

I don't think poly people are poly primarily because they can't keep thier pants on, do you?

Hell, I see more of that in monogamy-land.

15th May 2007

squire_liz2:33pm: Stupid assumptions.
Open letter I want to give to some of my "friends"
I realize the my choices might be outside what you are used to. I know, when you are used to thinking about the whole monogamy thing people comfortably loving more than one person can take some getting used to.
But for gods sake stop treating me as if you expect me to be fucking the whole world. Yes I'm poly, yes I'm bi, so what?
I'm not after you, your partners or that guy I happen to mention I had a conversation with last week. I have not been sexually irresponsible in my entire life and that isn't going to change. I haven't changed just because you know understand a little more about my life outside of what you see.

9th April 2007

leswamp9:20pm: "Sexually active with multiple partners."
I've mentioned before on this community how often women's healthcare providers (IME) tend to assume that bi/poly/women are riddled with VD while het monogamous women are pristine.

I mentioned on bipolypagangeek that IMHO one did not have an obligation to tell one's gyn absolutely every detail of one's sexual life.

A number of people took umbrage at this. Am I nuts? I have to tell them EVERYTHING.

No. I really don't think so.

As x-posted from my own lj.

IMHO if you are going to your gyn for a pap smear and birth control you really don't have to get into the whole poly or bi thing. "Sexually active" pretty much covers it. If you are going in for VD testing then again "sexually active" covers it. You can even add "multiple partners" to the description. Poly or bi really does not have to enter into it for accurate testing results based on the information: "Sexually active with multiple partners."

I hate to break it to the "full disclosure" crowd but bisexual women or poly women or gay women or bdsm women or condom using women don't get a different set of blood and labwork than any other sort of woman.

The concept that a gyn needs to know absolutely EVERYTHING about your sex life indicates to me that poly people seriously suffer from the desire to overshare.

MHO

YMMV.

4th April 2007

leswamp12:20pm: Woo!
Oh goody!

Sweeping generalizations based on ignorance (and obviously a whole lot of personal insecurity) by yet another bigoted moron.

http://lunamor.livejournal.com/114164.html#cutid1

Where would us polyfolk be without 'em?

:P


Edit:

Here's what I wrote about this on my own journal.

1st of all, I'd appreciate it if none of you go and flame this ignorant moron's journal. I should not have bothered to write what I wrote.

Now with that request out of the way, I was just thinking how much of an asshole a poly person would have to be to write such smug, arrogant and sweepingly general statements about monogamy. I mean flatulently trumpeting the superiority of their own lifestyle based on a lot of stale suppositions and inaccurate information.

I especially enjoyed this person's absolute assurance that poly is based entirely on sexual greed and shallow desire to use people for same.

Yes. Those of you who know me and my family know all about our hawt sexy furry pr0n factory! Yeeeah baby!

Give me a break.

Seems to me this person has a lot of self esteem issues of their very own and since they can't imagine anyone truly respecting, desiring or valuing them, (perhaps with good reason) they have decided that no one is capable of doing so for anyone else UNLESS within the confines of a societally approved lifestyle format which frowns upon dissolution of same.

Most of all this person has earned my utter scorn for producing twaddle in the same tones and with the same bullshit disclaimers I've seen people preface similarly smug nonsense about homosexuals, blacks and jews.

Bigotry masquerading as intelligent debate.

Same old same old.

3rd April 2007

leswamp4:26pm: If that makes me a meen oppressah so be it. :)
So there's this midwife who refused to assist the birth of a poly couple on the basis of her being a christian. (Guh?)

http://community.livejournal.com/bipolypagangeek/541078.html?view=5753238#t5753238

I find it funny that a lot of poly folk are denouncing those of us who think this midwife is a hypocrite as being intolerant ourselves.

How utterly politically correct are we expected to be anyway?

IMHO anyone who refuses to give medical care of any kind to someone else based on lifestyle choice is not in fact a good christian.

If that makes me a meen oppressah so be it. :)

2nd March 2007

leswamp12:36am: Taken in part from my post on bipolypagangeek.
So ljuser kenazf recently posted a link to the bipolypagangeek community. The link was to a daily news article which was highly sensationalistic, (Having to do with illegal distribution of cartoon character costumes and allegations of furry porn) with an overall attitude of "Look at those freaks!" (Those of you familiar with the daily news are not surprised by this sort of content. Lol.)

The vast majority of the extremely cool people on the bipolypagangeek community were sensibly unimpressed with the article and pointed out the small minded foolishness involved in getting so histrionic about what consenting adults choose to do with each other.

IME, people who have terrific insecurities about themselves frequently feel the need to pick on or stigmatize other folks but it seldom makes them feel any better.

Gays, bisexuals, bdsm folk, swingers, furries, you name it. I have seen each one of those groups deride another one of those groups at various points in my life and for what? Different kinks? Different lifestyles?

I can't help thinking that people like that have to grow the fuck up, you know?

How would one go about talking sense to a person like that? Is it even possible?

I'm sure a lot of you have seen this sort of nonsense as well so I figured I'd throw the topic out here for noshing upon. :)

Enjoy! ;)

24th February 2007

leswamp8:20pm: Programming.
The image of children someday not growing up with a monogamous culture imposed on them was brought up on a poly list I'm on and I love that image.  How interesting it would be to see kids unprogrammed by monogamous, heterosexual expectations.  Monogamy and heterosexuality are fine things but not with the assumption that they are the normal human defaults and that all others are negative deviance and sin.

Raising children in a poly family while the world bombards us with images of jealousy equaling romance and routine bigotry equalling lawful normalcy gets old fast.

I'm just grateful and amazed that our children have been so resilient to absorbing that particular line of twaddle.

21st January 2007

leswamp7:28pm: "So bizarre that it doesn't even merit a response."
Cheat on your spouse in Michigan and spend life in prison?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070118/lf_afp/usjusticesexoffbeat_070118055859

Um..wtf?

(Now obviously since poly is NOT the same as cheating this does not directrly correlate but if this insane situation actually comes to fruition would poly folk be spared?)

11th January 2007

leswamp4:00am: Sedagive!?
I was just thinking about how defensive monogamous people can get when they interpret something as a challenge or even a threat to their lifestyle.

Something as simple as a vague poly positive comment along the lines of "poly really works for some people" can set off a tirade about how their monogamous relationship is AWESOME and they LOVE IT and are you implying it isn't and they don't? HOW DARE YOU!

I don't get that. I can say I like strawberry without in fact being part of the secret strawberry agenda to ban chocolate. (Or in this case vanilla?)

Is it me or do folks like the above-described need valium?

Anyway, I'm not saying now or ever that poly is for everyone and that no one should be monogamous ever.

I would never, ever say that.

I will say however that if everyone were poly, God awful movies like Pearl Harbor would never get made.

That's almost worth the secret strawberry agenda membership fees.

Almost. :)

6th January 2007

leswamp2:43am: "It is immoral because I'm a christian and I say so."
This is not strictly on topic but since it covers the same knee jerk narrow minded stupidity so often encountered in anti poly circles I figured it was worth a vent hereabouts.

So someone on live journal has decided that since she is now christian, all porn is evil and her husband is not allowed to look at any of it.

(IMHO she's just threatened that her husband is looking at people who are subjectively better looking than she is and she's threatened by that and has decided to cloak her insecurities in a mighty veil of moral outrage.)

I told her honestly I didn't buy into her whole fantasy of porn as evil home wrecking monster of immoral-osity. I told her that anything between two or more consenting adults is simply not immoral.

Her argument amounted to "It is immoral because I'm a christian and I say so."

That sort of logic really does not fly with me.

I even went so far as to point out to her that Christ himself took a dim view of judging others.

Boy, did that fall on deaf ears.

As a christian she apparently has the right to judge others at all times, since Christ apparently appointed her the censor for the Earth.

I feel sorry for her husband. He's married to a moron who clearly has no respect for him whatsoever. (Since she's banned him from reading/looking/etc at any and all materials she deems pornographic.)

Then again, if he actually obeys her command, he deserves what he's got. (What is she, his mother?)

Most of all I feel sorry for Christ. All the cretins, psychos and retards flock under his banner. (Or Allah's.)

6th November 2006

mshrm4me11:28am: aggghhhhh! goddamnit!
i feel myself going slowly insane. this is the story. i invite a friend (M) to live with me. he finds out i am poly. we hang out for a little while. we fall for eachother. so now we are dating and we live together. i also have a fiancee who also lives with me. now M has an x gf (A). i hear nothing good about her before we meet from M so i dont know what to think. i meet her and she strikes me as an idiot. the more i talk to her the stupider i think she is. M decides that he wants A to try to b poly because he loves her and misses her. i tell him i dont think this is a good idea but we will give it a shot. so A repeatedly calls the polyamorus relationship a "fucked up situation" and tells M that she "doesnt think she can do it but she will try". this goes on for about a month. she put forth about a weeks worth of trying in that month. M is feeling insecure in his relationship to A so he asks her if she is his girlfriend and she cant give him a straight answer. she does this to him for about 3 days and i get fed up with her playing with him. he had an argument and told her he didnt want her to talk to him. so i try to reason with her and reword what he said and we get into this huge argument where i tell her that i never want to talk to her again and wind up havin to cuss her out just to get her to leave me alone. this happened last wednesday. last night M tells me that he is upset about my fight with A and thinks i was too harsh and hurtful with her.

i think its a little suspect that he decides he doesnt want to talk to her anymore and then he calls her up and wonders why she doesnt want to talk to him. this is how his description of their relationship was in the first place and that is why i didnt want to get involved.

i love M and wanted nothing more than to protect his feelings... but i cant even do that... it seems to me that he wants that insane toxic relationship more than he wants me.
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